Helping Big Siblings to Adapt to a New Baby

Things to consider while you are still pregnant:

1. Is there a special gift you might give to your old child(ren)?

2. Who will their other trusted adults be besides you?

3. Who might be able to take them for play dates or school drop offs?

4. Consider reading about becoming a sibling and to expose them to other babies/sibling relationships before your baby arrives. Many places offer “sibling prep” classes too.

5. Prepare your older child(ren) for how your time and attention may shift after baby is born.

5. Involve them in your pregnancy journey--feeling baby's movements, coming to prenatal visits (often times your provider can help them use the doppler to be the mini-midwife and help find the heartbeat!)

6. Will the siblings be present at your birth? (I will write a separate blog post on this soon! Our 5 yo attended her little brother's birth and we prepared a lot.)

Things to consider after baby has arrived:

1.  consider a “birthday party” for the new sibling in which the older sibling(s) have a choice in what food is served and how they want to celebrate. Let them plan it as much as possible! (And outsource with pre-baked goods or have another person in your postpartum inner circle help because…postpartum REST!)

2. Consider a big sibling gift.

3. Maintain big sibling's routines as much as possible.

4. Validate their feelings and honor that there may be some very normal behavior like tantrums or regression. Try to respond to this with love and patience and understanding.

5. Give ample opportunities for bonding and big sibling responsibility (grabbing diapers or drinks for you while feeding etc).

Books for Big Siblings

• “Hello in There” by Jo Witek (for big sister)
• “Hello Baby” by Jenni Overend (if preparing for a homebirth)
•  “Baby on the Way” by Martha and William Sears
• “Baby Egg Countdown Calendar”
• “Hello Baby” by Lizzy Rockwell